Friday, October 24, 2008
Still alive, evidently. And though it's such a cliché, it's true that life goes on. Looking back, the days have passed quickly. Right now, I'm in the middle of an excruciatingly slow 4 hour break, since my SC2213 lecture got cancelled this week.
Je suis en train de attender. (I'll make use of any excuse to practice my French.)
And so I'm doing my work now. Or at least attempting to. I'm about halfway through now. Been distracted by a few things. Reading blogs, reflecting, and now posting an entry for my own blog.
What happened to love?
It seems like a lot of people are breaking up these days. Natasha and Eddie's relationship just ended, after 5 years, 4 months 26 days. No, I didn't do the counting. I got the numbers from her blog. (Natasha, I hope you don't mind me writing about this here.) And I didn't want to paraphrase and write "5 years plus". Not when every single day counts. The word "plus" just wouldn't do justice to anything.
It's affecting me. No, no false sympathy or whatsoever, it's real. I was shocked, stunned, shook up, when I first heard it. Right now, I'm just... disappointed. After all the breakups happening to people around me, and my own as well, I have become increasingly cynical. But for them, I had really hoped that it would work out. I guess you could say that their relationship was one of the last things I had faith in. And now it's over.
There are so many things that I wish I could say here, but words cannot really describe the intricacies of a relationship. All I have are wordless thoughts, which I cannot transcibe onto this blog. But I'll say what I can.
I'm reminded of my relationship with CK. What we had, it was good and it was bad. I'm glad to have left behind the bad, but every now and then, I wonder if I'll ever find the good again. But no matter how cynical I'm getting to be, there's always the optimistic side, the one that's always saying, "I'll find love again." I don't find myself incomplete without a relationship, but having that someone there does indeed make things more... special. For a while I had that someone, and even though I'm moving on now, there are still some regrets that trickle into my mind at the most unexpected of moments, and I question myself, "Will I really find love again?"
(I'm aware that the previous paragraph's rather contradictory. It's called "writing with mixed feelings".)
So what happened to love?
♥ The lights faded at
12:25 pm
